25 Items of Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, people! My fam has a longstanding tradition of going to a family friend's house for Turkey Day. It's been going on for 30+ years; this group is o.g. Friendsgiving advocates. Needless to say, it's my favorite holiday. And it's not just for the potatoes au gratin. There's something uniquely sacred about friendships that become family.

Gratitude is one of those amazing things like chocolate or wine that *sometimes* your doctor recommends you add in, y'know, for your health, and that sounds like a pretty good recommendation. It's scientifically proven that giving thanks makes you more thankful. So, here's a little peek at my gratitude list. Some are big, some are small, and I think it's worth taking time to acknowledge both. In no particular order...

- my husband, who married me last October, and made my world a little bigger
- the inspiration I gain from traveling to other places and taking in their sights, sounds and colors
- clean water
- internet access
- the fact that pulling your socks up over your pants makes you WAY warmer, and that it is kind of trendy now. (p.s. I will 100% do this when it's not trendy too, stay tuned)
- my family and a home I am always welcome in
- living in Missouri, which gives me the ability to experience all four seasons. (sometimes all in one day!)
- prayer
- education
- friends who sit with me, laugh with me, listen to me, love me
- THANKSGIVING FOODS. personal favorites: potatoes au gratin, pumpkin pie, bacon-wrapped dates
- viral tweets and internet memes
- seeing many of my friends become moms and love their little ones
- friendsgiving dinners, and really anytime I get to share a meal with friends
- the fact that your only limit to creativity is your own mind
- regular foods. personal favorites: anything Mexican but not too spicy, brie cheese, pickles
- the amount of people in my hometown who inspire me in their careers, work and values
- learning both the challenging parts and the exciting parts of self-employment
- pajama sets. I bought my first PJ set since I was a lil one this year, and there's no going back.
- adults and mentors who have invested in me
- the ability to read a book and have access to them. (libraries!)
- coffee, and all of the many ways I enjoy it. (anywhere from black to latte-level cream)
- the privilege of being able to earn an income doing things I love
- cats IRL, but videos of dogs online
- anytime I receive snail mail that's not a bill

I'd keep going, but it's time to bake a pie, and I think you get the point! There's a lot to be grateful for even in a world that knocks ya down from time to time. Photos in this post are by my sweet pal Beth Solano.

Thankful for Beth! Thankful for photography! Thankful for pie! Thankful for you! xo.

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4 Key Ingredients that Make the Perfect PSL

Well, if you landed here expecting to find an actual recipe for a pumpkin spice latte, you've come to the wrong place. Sorry! But as many of you know, my friend Stephanie and I have just finished a long (and tasty) journey of trying every (OK, almost every) PSL in our hometown. After I shared this post, I had a few people ask me what were some common denominators for our favorite pumpkin spice lattes. Here they are!



1. Tastes Like Pumpkin
This may seem obvious, but I've found a lot of pumpkin spice lattes tend to taste more like "fall spice lattes" instead. While I love nutmeg, cinnamon and even vanilla, if I'm buying a drink where the first word is pumpkin... I want it to taste like pumpkin!

2. Tastes Like Coffee
That being said, I've had even more lattes that go overboard on the sweets, and the coffee flavor isn't as distinct. Personally, I love coffee (even black), so I'm not as into the super sweet lattes that completely mask the drink's main ingredient.

3. Is Instagrammable
Can ya blame me for this one? There's a reason the hashtag #pumpkinspice has been used over a million times on Instagram.

4. Is Served in a Nice Environment
Since I don't treat myself to a PSL every day (well, except for last week), when I do, I want to savor the experience as much as I do the drink! There's something really special about putting away all distractions over lunch or a coffee break and just thinking about and appreciating the flavors you're experiencing. I know that may sound silly, but it's one small way that I like to practice gratitude — more on that here. If you can appreciate a tiny thing like a lingering lunch break, you're setting yourself up for a more positive look on the big things, too.

BUT, if you did come here looking for a PSL recipe, here are a few that I want to try out:

• Greatist's recipe looks pretty... great.
• Oh She Glows is a really good plant-based blog, and I want to try out her recipe, too.

Have a good Thursday! xo

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Giving Thanks for the Small Stuff

It's easy to be grateful when you're in the middle of an exciting season or things are going well. But if you're feeling like a droopy sunflower, sometimes it's harder to pull yourself out of the funk to see all the good that surrounds you.

Giving thanks is so important — not only on Thanksgiving, but every day of the year. Why? Well, you're probably a crank to be around if you're an eternal pessimist. But science supports the idea too: One study shows that people who kept a gratitude journal for 10 weeks were happier and more optimistic than those who simply journaled about everyday occurrences. At the end of the study, the gratitude group also happened to be exercising more and visiting the doctor less! Gratitude clearly matters.

If you're wanting to cultivate gratitude, it's as easy or as hard as you make it. Your brain can only handle so many thoughts, so if you can capture negative emotions and replace them with gratitude, you're rewiring your brain to feel more positive emotions and reduce anxiety. Sounds like a good plan, huh?!

Here are some ideas on how to cultivate gratitude, if, y'know, you're just not feeling grateful.

- Buy a journal, and only use it to record what you're thankful for. You're not allowed to unpack your day or vent about traffic/work/relationships/whatever you might be frustrated about in this journal. It's simply a happy place.

- Ok good, then read the journal regularly. I really believe there's something about seeing things in your own handwriting. It reminds you that you're human.

- Also, you're human. Be grateful you woke up today!

You can copy off my small things list if you want. Truthfully, I'm most grateful for the big things in my personal life — family, loved ones, health, etc. But we can all be grateful for the following:

- pizza
- a bed, or somewhere to sleep at night
- internet connection (did you know almost 60 percent of the world doesn't have internet access?)
- Google (seriously. You can learn anything in the world on Google.)
- coffee. This wouldn't be a true gratitude list if it didn't include coffee
- music
- art
- Burt's Bees Hibiscus tinted lip balm (am I getting too specific now?)

So yeah, gratitude. Easier than it sounds, harder than it sounds, way more important than it sounds.

Outfit details: Jacket - Urban Outfitters (Sold out, similar here), Dress - c/o StyleWe, Boots - Aldo
Photos of me by Austin Elliott of Locke + Stache

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You Should Go and Love Yourself

Got big Valentine’s Day plans? It’s just around the corner, so naturally there are a zillion resources available to you on topics such as “The 10 Sweetest Valentine's Day Dates of All Time.” Others will mourn the yearly rotation of “Singles Awareness Day” — it's OK, I've been there too. Regardless of whether V-Day marks your one-year anniversary with a special someone, your 8-year anniversary of never going on a date, or something in between, we would all do well to give ourselves a little attention this season.

Self-care can be both physical and psychological in nature, and I think both are essential to maintaining a healthy livelihood. It can be easy if (or when) you enter a relationship to neglect “you” time — but you have to both know and care for yourself before you can show the same attention to another person. Here’s a few suggestions for how to care for yourself this Valentine’s Day, whether you plan on spending the day alone or with a date.

1. Cut the Chocolate

It seems counterintuitive to say “cut the chocolate” in a Valentine’s Day post, but it’s more of an everyday suggestion. An essential part of self care is considering your health — it affects so many other parts of your life. So while eating 12 boxes of Russell Stover might sound like a great idea at the time, prioritize your long-term health in your daily decisions (easier said than done, I know).

2. Journal

I’ve written about the benefits of journaling here, but if you’re not into pouring your feelings out to a piece of paper, at least confide in a good friend. If you’re single, you’ll need a good sounding board — we weren’t meant to do life alone. And if you’re in a relationship, your boyfriend or girlfriend shouldn’t be the only person you’re vulnerable with. Should you trust them? Of course. So much that theirs is the only name in your email inbox or message queue? Not at all.

3. Schedule a hair appointment

Or, y’know, go for a long drive. Get your nails done. Take one of those trendy bubble baths all the Instagram girls can’t get enough of. Adopt a kitten. Read a book. Get a massage. The theme here is treat yo self. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, you should treat yourself kindly. Small mood-boosters can go a long way to ensure proper self care and self image. You deserve it!

4. Unplug

If Instagram is a competition, Valentine’s Day might be the playoffs. Women and men alike post photos of significant others, romantic date nights and extravagant gifts — and that’s ok. But if come February 14 you find yourself alone (or not alone, but feeling jealous), it might be hard to scroll by dozens of roses and teddy bears. And that’s OK, too. There is nothing that says you have to engage in social media, and if seeing others’ posts dampens your spirits, feel free to unplug for the night.

Sometimes self care sounds selfish because it’s so focused on our own wants and needs. But as we learn to treat ourselves well (it’s a process!), it enables us to make even more of the time we spend with others. Go and love yourself — even if that means spinning guilty-pleasure pop music, like Justin Beiber or something…

You won’t regret it.

Photos of my BFF/college roommate taken by me and Austin Elliott of Locke + Stache Media.

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10 Tips for Saying Thank You

Writing notes of gratitude may be a lost art, but perhaps due to Jimmy Fallon, thank you notes are coming back in style. Here's 10 tips for how to properly appreciate someone:

1. Be sincere: Even if your Aunt Irene gifted you a cat sweater you totally hate (although I'm not sure why anybody would hate a cat sweater), try to give your gratitude honestly. E.g., you should say something like "this sweater is sure to keep me warm over the winter!" (fact) rather than "I've never loved anything more!" (lie).

2. Be timely: Timeliness is important when writing thank you's because it often reflects sincerity. A too-late thank you could look like an afterthought, and you wouldn't want that! Ideally, send thank you's no later than 2 days after the gift was given or event was experienced. (Oops, I guess I'd better start writing some..)

3. Be specific: Specificity is one of the cardinal rules of thank you cards. You'll want to name exactly what you're giving gratitude for, and even feel free to mention why you're giving thanks. I had a set of fill-in-the-blank thank you notes as a child, and they were good for this. "Thank you for the __________; I like it because __________." Sounds silly, but people like to hear why you enjoyed the gift and how you'll use it!

4. Find a cute card: Self explanatory. Re: That cute card, use a notecard instead of a letter. This takes a lot of pressure off you because notecards can fit approx. 5 sentences as opposed to the 15 or so you could fit on a letter. Chances are, you don't have a novel-worth of things to say in your thank you note, so keep it short and sweet. 

5. Thanking somebody for a tangible gift: Send a picture! Snapping a photo really adds a nice touch to the note. I have a family friend who is so kind to often send me gift cards for my birthday or Christmas. I also have a tendency to save gift cards for a "rainy day," if you will, so I try to send a handwritten note and follow up with a picture text when I buy my new dress/candle/wallet/whatever!

6. Thanking somebody for an intangible gift: An interview is a good example of this. One of my friends sends a handwritten thank you note after any job interview she has, and I'm pretty sure she's gotten every job she's ever applied for. Another example is if somebody hosted you in their home, saying thanks may be implied, but writing it will make the host feel extra-special. 

7. Appreciate presence more than presents: This should be a goal in life, whether or not you receive a tangible gift. Be grateful for the people who surround you. If they're giving you a reason to thank them, they probably care about you, so challenge yourself to appreciate the sender more than what was sent (even if they sent you, like, a billion dollars). 

8. Write using your hands, with pen on paper: It's 2015, so digital thank you's are passable (any thank you is better than none), but you'll get bonus points for a handwritten note. Everybody loves to receive snail mail (as long as it isn't from MasterCard), and you'll look like the nicest person ever.

9. When in doubt, say thanks: "Should I send a 'thank you' to Susie for babysitting my pet lizard?" Yes. "Do I need to send a note to Sam saying thanks for letting me cheat off his math homework?" Yes.

10. When appropriate, thank the person in public: This probably goes more for intangibles than anything else, but sometimes it is nice to publicly recognize people for what they've done for you. Your friend probably won't toot his or her own horn, so toot it for 'em!

Dear people who read this blog post,

Thank you for taking the time to read this. It made me feel special. I included a few photos in the post; I hope you'll accept my gratitude.

Sincerely,

Ana

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