10 Tips for Saying Thank You

Writing notes of gratitude may be a lost art, but perhaps due to Jimmy Fallon, thank you notes are coming back in style. Here's 10 tips for how to properly appreciate someone:

1. Be sincere: Even if your Aunt Irene gifted you a cat sweater you totally hate (although I'm not sure why anybody would hate a cat sweater), try to give your gratitude honestly. E.g., you should say something like "this sweater is sure to keep me warm over the winter!" (fact) rather than "I've never loved anything more!" (lie).

2. Be timely: Timeliness is important when writing thank you's because it often reflects sincerity. A too-late thank you could look like an afterthought, and you wouldn't want that! Ideally, send thank you's no later than 2 days after the gift was given or event was experienced. (Oops, I guess I'd better start writing some..)

3. Be specific: Specificity is one of the cardinal rules of thank you cards. You'll want to name exactly what you're giving gratitude for, and even feel free to mention why you're giving thanks. I had a set of fill-in-the-blank thank you notes as a child, and they were good for this. "Thank you for the __________; I like it because __________." Sounds silly, but people like to hear why you enjoyed the gift and how you'll use it!

4. Find a cute card: Self explanatory. Re: That cute card, use a notecard instead of a letter. This takes a lot of pressure off you because notecards can fit approx. 5 sentences as opposed to the 15 or so you could fit on a letter. Chances are, you don't have a novel-worth of things to say in your thank you note, so keep it short and sweet. 

5. Thanking somebody for a tangible gift: Send a picture! Snapping a photo really adds a nice touch to the note. I have a family friend who is so kind to often send me gift cards for my birthday or Christmas. I also have a tendency to save gift cards for a "rainy day," if you will, so I try to send a handwritten note and follow up with a picture text when I buy my new dress/candle/wallet/whatever!

6. Thanking somebody for an intangible gift: An interview is a good example of this. One of my friends sends a handwritten thank you note after any job interview she has, and I'm pretty sure she's gotten every job she's ever applied for. Another example is if somebody hosted you in their home, saying thanks may be implied, but writing it will make the host feel extra-special. 

7. Appreciate presence more than presents: This should be a goal in life, whether or not you receive a tangible gift. Be grateful for the people who surround you. If they're giving you a reason to thank them, they probably care about you, so challenge yourself to appreciate the sender more than what was sent (even if they sent you, like, a billion dollars). 

8. Write using your hands, with pen on paper: It's 2015, so digital thank you's are passable (any thank you is better than none), but you'll get bonus points for a handwritten note. Everybody loves to receive snail mail (as long as it isn't from MasterCard), and you'll look like the nicest person ever.

9. When in doubt, say thanks: "Should I send a 'thank you' to Susie for babysitting my pet lizard?" Yes. "Do I need to send a note to Sam saying thanks for letting me cheat off his math homework?" Yes.

10. When appropriate, thank the person in public: This probably goes more for intangibles than anything else, but sometimes it is nice to publicly recognize people for what they've done for you. Your friend probably won't toot his or her own horn, so toot it for 'em!

Dear people who read this blog post,

Thank you for taking the time to read this. It made me feel special. I included a few photos in the post; I hope you'll accept my gratitude.

Sincerely,

Ana

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What Does Your Handwriting Say About You?

When I first heard that Friday was National Handwriting Day, I had several thoughts:

Thoughts like, Who comes up with these national "holidays"? Can I be that person? Does that same person also name the crayon colors at Crayola? What does your handwriting say about you? I don't dot my lowercase i's. Does this mean something weirdly terrible or fascinating about me?

I have some answers:

The Writing Instrument Manufacturers Association created National Handwriting Day back in 1977. They chose January 23 "in conjunction with John Hancock's birthday" because, y'know, his name is the HUGE one on the Declaration of Independence. 

I can imagine the scenario perfectly. John Hancock signing the Declaration of Independence was like the first person to sign the "happy birthday" card or the "get well soon" card at the office/church/whatever party, and he turns around to a long line of people scowling at him for taking up all the space and practically writing a paragraph about how much he loves America just based on the sheer size of his name when there are 55 other dudes left to sign it. Then, the whole U.S.A. recognized him forever based upon that one embarrassing moment, and now there is a random holiday (sort of) in his honor.

Graphology is the name for the analysis of handwriting to determine facts about an individual--usually the person's psychological state at the time of writing, or certain personality traits. It's considered by most to be a pseudoscience, but nonetheless, you can get certified with a "Diploma Course in Forensic Graphology" (ooh, very fancy) from The Cambridge School of Graphology.

^ See, you can learn plenty of things about people from their handwriting, like if they are poor planners and run out of space on the paper. 

According to research from the National Pen Company, "writing the capital letter "I" much larger than other capitals is usually written by someone who is arrogant and has a high opinion of themselves." They also noted that, "writing that changes dramatically over the course of a text is symbolic of lying." They say that a signature that is not legible means "you are very private, hard to read or understand" while a legible signature means "you are comfortable in your own skin; you don't need to pretend you're something you're not." So--Obviously many doctors are private, hard to read or understand. 

As far as dotting i's goes -- According to John Cowens, a dot centered above the stem says you're "over-precise," a dot to the right of the stem says you "tend to act quickly or hastily," and no dot says you're reckless and/or have a poor memory.

I was going to say something else to finish off this post, but I forgot what it was.

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Write On.

If you know me very well, or if you've stalked my Twitter bio, you'll know that ink on paper is my idea of the perfect romance. Why, though? Plain and simple, writing is good for you. Don't believe me? Keep reading.

I have talked about writing for others in the past, but this post is more about writing for yourself. Writing makes people feel better. Right??! There is loads of research to show that individuals who practice expressive writing show lower levels of stress, lower blood pressure, sleep better at night, etc. etc. etc.

Personally, I try to make a habit of journaling, but I don't tend to make it a priority unless I really feel like I need to. Usually it's when I have a lot of things to vent that I turn to paper. Paper is never going to be too busy for you, compare itself to you, raise judgmental eyebrows at you, or laugh at you. Paper is a pretty good listener that way.

When looking back through old journals, I can tell which seasons of life were tough because I journaled, like, every day. 

Sure, it makes sense that expressive writing can help you cope with emotional pain, but physical pain? That seems like a bit much. (Or so I thought.) Turns out, there is a lot of research that supports this. In this one super-cool study, adults who spent time writing about trauma experienced physical healing nearly twice as fast as others who didn't write. 

There is also scientific proof that writing things down helps you to learn them better. Now, you guys know I'm all about learning, so I write things down, a lot. I feel like I brainstorm better on paper than on a computer - I like how a blank 8.5x10 allows me to write important things smaller or larger, or sideways, or circle them about 8 million times if I want. There is research that shows how writing letters and vocab benefits those learning a language; many psychologists believe that the extra component of muscle memory and taking the additional time to put pen to paper helps solidify things in your brain.

Clearly, there are many benefits to ink on paper, so write on.

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Sweet Springfield

How I got over myself and learned to love my hometown.

I wrote an article on this topic, and you can read it by clicking here if you'd like.

Photo by Nick Warnock.

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Letters are Forever

My dear friend, Lindsay, surprised me this week with some sweet snail mail. It wasn't anything that required a box or a bow; it probably only took her about 5 minutes and 50 cents. She simply said she was thankful for our friendship, but getting that fun little letter in the mail was the highlight of my day.

It's really amazing how much a teensy sacrifice (5 minutes!) can mean to another person. Lindsay's letter didn't say anything earth-shattering or groundbreaking, but it was note-worthy. She reminded me that I should make a point to start writing some letters, myself! Ink on paper adds an extra-special touch to a message by making the communication more intentional.

Lindsay could have told me she was thankful for our friendship via text, Facebook, email, Skype, or Twitter, but letters are forever. Love you, Linds!

P.S. Is this blog post forever?
P.P.S. Nick Warnock let me borrow his 50mm prime lens for this post, and I'm enjoying learning how it works!

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